A conversation about Buddhism

Okay so I realize that my transition into Buddhism may seem a bit like I’m jumping into it too quickly, but I really feel a deep connection to it and have been mulling it over in my mind for the past weeks. For some reason I feel hesitant or insecure writing about Buddhism on the blog, especially the things I believe in. I’ve tried to start a blog post where I write about them but it just doesn’t come. Then today my best friend Chantal and I were talking (for the first time in two months!!! She has been in Peru) and she started asking me questions about Buddhism… for the first time I put it all into words! I asked her whether I could put the conversation on the blog and she said that was fine, so here it is (I copy/pasted it from facebook)

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Chantal Dunning

So are you like a legit Buddhist now? Do you practice, wait is it called practicing?

Charlotte De Bekker

Yeah I'm a legit Buddhist now! It's not so much practicing as just living the lifestyle (aka being compassionate and realizing the concept of emptiness and meditating) which I've practically been doing for over a year now, now there's just a name, taking the vow will allow me to learn about more sacred Buddhist teachings and is basically me being accepted into the community.

It's not a very big deal in terms of changes, but it’s a big deal in the sense that it's all becoming so real to myself now, AND because of it I’m pushing myself to meditate every day; I suck at being diligent with it so that’s good

Das all 

I should probably clarify that in the next blog post hahaha

People may think I'll come back with red and orange robes and no hair

Oh and the vow I took will allow me to become a nun (female version of monk) or a yogini (female version of a yogi) if I wish

But I want babies so I don't think I'll become a nun……..

Chantal Dunning

OH SNAP THAT IS AWESOME AND AMAZING! I am so proud of you Charlotte! You keep doing your thing! You are going to make ME shed a tear now! 

I am really really really proud of you! What did your parents think?

Soooo can we still say baby Jesus? I know you asked in your latest blog post, but what did you decide?

Charlotte De Bekker

My mom and dad are so proud of me too, they're so cool with it all I just want to cry… they're endlessly supportive gosh I'm so lucky

Of course I'll still say baby Jesus hahahahah

AINT NOBODY GOT TIME TO UNLEARN THAT HABIT

Jokes, but really Buddhism is not crazy strict, it lets you live within your own comfort zone, it's all about the intention, if I was actually praising baby Jesus as if he was a God, the creator, then that would be un-Buddhist (as we don't believe in a creator)

You can live how you want as long as you try to live your life with the things you have learnt through Dharma (the teachings) so basically always being compassionate towards living beings, not harming sentient beings, trying to see the goodness in everyone, realizing that everything is impermanent, not getting too attached to things or people because you realize their impermanence, realizing the true nature of the mind through meditation ect.

Chantal Dunning

That is so great. So can I call you fearless goddess now?

Jokes, don't worry I am still going to call you wifey 

Buddhism sounds really cool, quite a few people actually convert to Buddhism. It sounds awesome.

Charlotte De Bekker

HAHAHAHAHAH FEARLESS GODDESS... killed me when he told me, so great

I told my monk students and they all laughed hahahahhahah MAH GAWD, when I walked into the dining hall today during breakfast they all started cheering “JIGME LHAMOOOOO” and clapping, I died

Chantal Dunning

Hhahah that is so great, I am so happy you are having such an amazing experience! :') Ahh that is just awesome 

Charlotte De Bekker

Yessss I'm so happy that I have this opportunity, I feel so different already (in the best way), for example in the way I deal with situations that would've otherwise made me sad or angry or jealous, now I can easily turn them into a positive experience or just put it into perspective and as a result I'm just happy all of the time

If you ever have questions about Buddhism I'm here gurl 

Do you consider yourself Christian? Or atheist?

Chantal Dunning

For sure dude, I will definitely direct my questions to you if I have any 

Honestly, I don't know what I consider myself. I don't really believe in Jesus as the person (which is something that you have to believe in to make you Christian) but I do believe in what he stands for (which I guess doesn't make me atheist?). One day I was bored and decided to read the bible like the cool kid I am and lots of the passages are great and they teach you such good things about how you should treat people and be kind to one another. But as for the actual people and the stories about what Jesus did I don't believe. And about God, I don't know. I would like to believe that there is a higher power watching over us but I honestly don't know, I am possibly leaning to no.

Does that all make sense, I feel like I explained my thoughts very badly there.

Charlotte De Bekker

No, that made total sense

I have similar feelings towards the stories, I believe Jesus was a man that was alive and that was probably really compassionate but I'm not sure if I believe all the stories about water into wine and such, I view them more as symbolic stories than true accounts... plus over time stories get changed as they are passed down from person to person and made more and more extravagant, I'm sure that happened, even with the Buddhist stories

But I view them all as symbolic stories like I said

And same, with the whole higher power thing, that's why I love Buddhism, they don't believe in a God, and when I came here and found out that Buddha is not actually their God I was so so so surprised

Buddha basically means the knowledge, and it's Siddhartha who was the manifestation of Buddha (he is the one on the pictures, sitting in the lotus position) and he channeled the knowledge to the people and started Buddhism

And we believe that everyone has Buddha inside of them but that it is just covered up by layers of ignorance, hate and the ego (the three afflicting emotions, that's what they are called) but that essentially we all have Buddha within us, it’s just that we need to peel the layers away to get there, in order to become enlightened, and when we do we will be able to help other beings out of Samsara (suffering). Realizing that everyone has the Buddha nature inside of them is actually something which helps you become more compassionate, because you realize that everyone has that core of goodness, it’s just covered up by past experiences, negative emotions and bad habits!

GURL Buddhism is awesome

Chantal Dunning

I did not know that! That is really cool, I wanna study Buddhism, it sounds super interesting! Did you learn all of this from a teacher? In your blog you mentioned the teaching, does someone give you lessons and tell you stories? How did you find this all out and do you pray with the beads he gave you?

Charlotte De Bekker

I can give you some names of books to read, the books are pretty tough to get through at times but they tell you a lot... I started with a book called “what makes you not a Buddhist” it’s pretty good!

I learnt this from the top Lama at the monastery, Tulku Jigme, who accepted me as his student during the first couple of weeks (if you go wayyy back in the blog you'll see) He teaches me and tells me some of the stories, and then I derive my own meaning from them and draw my own conclusions which is what you are reading now, and that is exactly what Buddha wanted people to do (which is another reason why I think he's an a star man) he told his students that he wanted them to question him, he wanted them to be skeptical of his teachings and he wanted them to explore it and analyze it all in their minds, he didn't want them to follow his teachings by blind faith and always encouraged questions and analysis... and Buddhism just feels really natural to me, so when people ask questions I can just ramble about it and explain it really easily, it just clicks!

And I don't pray with the beads, I use them to meditate, I repeat a mantra, Om Ah Hum Varja Guru Pedma Siddhi Hum, which pays respect to one of the past teachers. For every bead I say the mantra; it's really rhythmic and totally works (I had real trouble with breathing mediation and single pointed meditation; two beginner types of meditation, but now I've found what works for me so I’m really happy!). I'm not sure if it is praying, I guess you would call it praying, but in Buddhism we do meditate on certain gurus with the hope of being able to channel some of their qualities (their wisdom, their compassion, their diligence ect.). And we have shrines dedicated to Buddha and past masters as a sign of respect, we put offerings down for them (I have a cute mini shrine in my room) for the same reasons. We pray in honor of them in the hopes of being as mindful as them.

But there is no God to pray to!

Chantal Dunning

That sounds so awesome Charlotte, I think this suits you perfectly! It sounds so in line with you and everything you stand for. Buddhism is really interesting, I like how there isn't just this one god who makes rules and forces you to follow them but the stories are open to interpretation and you make your own means and conclusions. It's what you make of it. I like that.

It sounds so calming, I bet you are so relaxed there, no stress, especially that stupid high school stress that was getting you before.

Gosh I am so happy right now. Number 1, you are happy and that makes me happy. Number 2 you are 

having a great time. And number 3 I haven't talked to you in so long and this is awesome!

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Waaah my best friend is awesome… anyway, so that was the conversation we had, hope that that sheds some light onto the situation.

 “There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; my philosophy is kindness” 
- The Dalai Lama

Charlotte x